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SONNY ROLLINS KILLED BY HIS OWN LEGACY, Dies at 95 (Because Even Death Can't Save You from Being Utterly Irrelevant)
The world is mourning the loss of Sonny Rollins, because that's what we do when someone finally gets to leave this dumpster fire of a planet. But let's be real, he's been dead for years – his music has just been playing in the background while we all silently screamed at the existential dread that is life. The 'saxophone colossus' was basically a dinosaur who refused to adapt to modernity and instead chose to cling to his dusty old records like they were some sort of nostalgic security blanket. Now he's gone, leaving behind a legacy that will be quietly forgotten in about 5 years. RIP, Sonny – may your jazz riffs haunt the dreams of those still stuck in the 50s.
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