In a shocking turn of events (said no one), FTX's former kingpin Sam Bankman-Fried had his appeal rejected, and now he's gonna be stuck in the slammer for a quarter-century. Yeah, you heard that right - 25 whole years. That's like watching every episode of Squid Game back-to-back without a single break... or getting stuck in an elevator with your ex for eternity. And to make matters worse, his clemency bid from Donald Trump is looking as likely as a Kardashian getting a Nobel Prize. Yeah, good luck with that, Sam.