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TRUMP'S BIRTHDAY MASSACRE: Iran Deal Collapses as POTUS Spends Day Squishing Tiny Hands in UFC Cage
It's been a bloody week, folks! The U.S. and Iran were this close to making nice-nice, but then Trump decided to celebrate his birthday by mainlining testosterone and beating up on some helpless cage fighters behind the White House. Meanwhile, North Korea just yawned and said, 'Meh, I've seen more excitement at a grandma's bingo night.' Stay tuned for more updates from the War Zone of Adulting!
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