TECHNOLOGY

AI, quantum computing, neural implants, and the bleeding edge of innovation.

102 STORIES
Breaking
NASA DIES FROM LACK OF CREATIVE IDEAS, SUMMONS MORTALS TO SAVE THEM FROM ETERNAL BORINGNESS
TECH

NASA DIES FROM LACK OF CREATIVE IDEAS, SUMMONS MORTALS TO SAVE THEM FROM ETERNAL BORINGNESS

In a desperate bid to inject some semblance of coolness into their mission storytelling, NASA has issued a pathetic cry…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 3
Breaking
UV's Package Management UX is a HOT MESS of Epic Proportions - Don't Even Get Me Started!
TECH

UV's Package Management UX is a HOT MESS of Epic Proportions - Don't Even Get Me Started!

So, UV (because who doesn't love an acronym?) is pretty cool and all, but seriously, what the actual F is going on with…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
SMARTPHONE APOCALYPSE: Cheap Phones are DYING as Memory Scarcity Devours Your Wallet!
TECH

SMARTPHONE APOCALYPSE: Cheap Phones are DYING as Memory Scarcity Devours Your Wallet!

So, you thought cheap smartphones were the answer to all your prayers? Think again, peasants! As AI-powered behemoths c…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
CLEVE MOLER KILLED BY BORINGNESS, WORLD IN SHOCK (NOT REALLY)
TECH

CLEVE MOLER KILLED BY BORINGNESS, WORLD IN SHOCK (NOT REALLY)

Sorry not sorry, math nerds. Cleve Moler, the OG MATLAB founder, has finally kicked the bucket... of our collective att…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
TUI HTTP Client Causes Insomniacs to Lose Their Minds (Literally)
TECH

TUI HTTP Client Causes Insomniacs to Lose Their Minds (Literally)

Get ready for the most soul-crushing, mind-numbing experience of your life! A new HTTP client has emerged from the dept…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
 transformer Blocks Just Got ROASTED: GEMM-Epilogue Programs are the New Black, and Your Brain is Already Dead
TECH

transformer Blocks Just Got ROASTED: GEMM-Epilogue Programs are the New Black, and Your Brain is Already Dead

So, researchers decided to rewrite those fancy transformer blocks as GEMM programs. Yeah, because nothing says 'innovat…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
NASA's AWE Just Proved That Earth Is a Space-Venom-Spewing Hellhole, And We're All Doomed!
TECH

NASA's AWE Just Proved That Earth Is a Space-Venom-Spewing Hellhole, And We're All Doomed!

So, NASA's Atmospheric Waves Experiment (AWE) thingy just wrapped up its two-year mission to study atmospheric gravity …

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
NASA ISSUES ULTIMATUM: Launch Your CubeSats or Face Eternal Space-Doom!
TECH

NASA ISSUES ULTIMATUM: Launch Your CubeSats or Face Eternal Space-Doom!

Hey, space nerds! You've got till June 1 to show NASA what you're working with. If you don't deliver the CubeSat goods,…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
NASA Sells Out to Alien Overlords, Unites with Global Morons in Moon-Mars Madness
TECH

NASA Sells Out to Alien Overlords, Unites with Global Morons in Moon-Mars Madness

So, it's official - NASA has joined the losers club, known as the Artemis Accords, where a bunch of nations are committ…

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
NASA Plans to Rape Swift Spacecraft's Orbit, Media Invited to Witness Carnage!
TECH

NASA Plans to Rape Swift Spacecraft's Orbit, Media Invited to Witness Carnage!

Get ready for the most brutal display of orbital violence as NASA unleashes their Northrop Grumman-powered behemoth on …

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
Breaking
MISSISSIPPI MELTDOWN: Tornado Wrecks Havoc, Leaves Trail of DESTRUCTION and Vegetation-Less Existence
TECH

MISSISSIPPI MELTDOWN: Tornado Wrecks Havoc, Leaves Trail of DESTRUCTION and Vegetation-Less Existence

So, Mississippi, it seems you wanted to get your twister on and show the world who's boss. Newsflash: YOU'RE NOT BOSS, …

KUZAZA 1 MIN READ 0
« 4 5 6 7 8